PALM's

Collection

 

JOKES, POEMS, ETC. 

JOKES

Are You Ready to be Happy?
No matter what things in life upset you, 
there is a Prozac-Pez Dispenser for you!
http://www.thegoodnamesweretaken.com/ProzacPez/prozac.htm

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Iguana.
Iguana who?
Iguana go to the store and get some Pez!

TRIVIA
Betsy Ross is the only real person to ever have been the head on a Pez
dispenser.

POEMS

Limited Edition

You're a limited edition, baby,
Only one of fifteen thou.
While others will be mass produced,
You soon will take a bow.

You'll never grace the candy aisle,
You won't be in the stores.
And sometime soon we'll cry and beg,
"Why couldn't they make more?"

It will be then we'll hear the news:
Another few are found,
And you'll be here and everywhere-
A rarity abound.

You're a limited edition, baby,
Only one of ninety thou.
But just in case I've got it wrong,
I'd better buy you now.

A Pezhead's Fear

I'm not a man who scares that easy,
Blood and guts don't make me queasy.
Witches' spells don't mean a thing,
Nor do bats with flapping wings.
Wolfmen howling in the night
Fail to bring a sense of fright.
Zombies, phantoms, specters, ghosts
Do nothing but amuse at most.
Count Dracula and Frankenstein
Are not among the fears of mine.

But no more Pez? Now that's a dread!
Such eerie thoughts invade my head!
There's no more grape, and no strawberry;
There's no more orange… now this is scary!
Not one dispenser to be found
At stores, garage sales, all around.
No flea markets, no conventions,
No more eBay- dare I mention?
No more Pez to collect and share;
I cannot lie, I'm deathly scared!

So if you want to make me cower,
It won't be in the midnight hour.
You will not need a skull and bones,
No thunderstorms or distant moans,
No haunted houses, no vampires,
No devils shooting balls of fire,
No jack-o-lantern's evil grin,
Not even leeches on my skin.
All you'll need is a world that says,
"I'm sorry, son, there's no more Pez."

HAIKU

Forty-Three More

There once was a Pez collector named Kevin
Whose collection stood at three thousand eleven,
He stopped by the store,
Finding forty-three more,
And shouting, "Hurrah, this must truly be heaven!"

Pez Haiku #1

I tilt my head back
And give my insides to you.
I, Pez dispenser.

Pez Haiku #2

A Pez dispenser:
So like a newborn puppy,
Only housebroken.

Pez Haiku #3

Some Pezheads prefer
"Mint on card," but it's my choice
To pop that blister.

Pez Haiku #3, Revisited

Though some may keep them
"Mint on card," if you love Pez,
Free, free, set them free.

Pez Haiku #30

Though temperatures
May drop in these autumn months,
Pez is on the rise.

ALLITERATION

Pulchritude and perfection permeate, and
Elevated energy and escape ensue.
Zowee! Zonked and zombified by Zen-like zenith.

LESSER CANDY EPITAPHS
In the cemetery of fallen candies, many stories can be told. Herewith, just a few…

PEZ QUOTES

"If you dispense it, they will come."

"Ask not what your Pez can do for you, ask what you can do for your Pez"

"All work and no Pez makes Jack a dull boy.

"I regret that I have but one Pez to give for my country."

http://www.pezheadmonthly.com/archive/index.html (Dec2001)